captain

refrain from self pity. you're to good for it.

pawn

the day I can truly feel as though i understand titles- i will cease happily.

i enjoy pms'ing with my lover and these sheets.

.

fragrant with humility

I have become the stuttering silent compliant door knob. the fuck rabbit without any defining momentum. the pity became rank. focus.

pronounce accounts

I had a great day with hope and abby yesterday. watched lost boys and george lopez.

oph is getting huge! school starts in a week or so, planing for spain, and portland. terra is more beautiful than ever.

How do you lose meaning in the noises coming out of your own mouth? the words are pronounced and then deflated- lost and unable to latch onto new words. and so i can not carry on a conversation with someone new without preparation- a draft. my temples make drafts and never finish them.

let the ringing begin, tomorrow.

"yea you should try it with one girl, yea, and then if you dont like it...cheat on her"- NYC prep

Lets hope im done with school by 22. thats my goal.

im reading Equus.

europe in january.

fill up the buckets

had lunch with abby today.

i feel drowsy. not myself. my eyelids want the feeling of exhaustion, so i can sleep for a couple days.

ERIN sits like a mantel fixture, glued to the wood as if the heat has molded it to her. she sits there plastered with fear and feeling of sainthood. her legs are spread from anticipation, someone wants her- statuette whore. ERIN stands up, walks away from the wooden chair and closer to the brick balcony.

ERIN

(quickly, silently)

fuck fuck fuck.

she lowers her head to floor, playing with her fingers violently

stops

ERIN

i am all there is.

funerals and frantic wind

This morning smells of pollen; thick and staggering. My room looks beautiful. The walls are catching light from the wind.
I wonder if my mind is more like a man's.
I wonder if I have any Greek in me.
I wonder if the Alvidrez family in Spain were ever diplomats.
The Hapsburgs should have never changed their name to Windsor.

































terra.

cream puffs, i'm going to miss her.

back from portland. she leaves at 2:00, my body aches.

here's a little bit of the trip.




color and homeless