These last three weeks have been trying ones. Family, school, my girl. Every things been on overdrive. I can see it in my face. I look like a zombie. The funeral will be monday and tuesday. God rest his soul. Finals and papers are quickly approaching next week. I have no confidence in my abilities at succeeding. I'm trying, going through the motions. But I feel insecure about applying to schools, where i'm going to live, and how i'm going to pay for it all.

I need to shut down. But can't, after all of this summer school starts, and then the fall semester starts. Oh wait and I forgot to mention, my checking account is overdrawn, my credit card is late, and I missed my scholarship ceremony I had no idea existed.

at least terra will finally come back to me from LA.

I know this time is hard for everyone. I'm thankful for being alive and surrounded by loved ones.

never

don't be an organ donor. they'll treat your family like a butcher, selling their loved ones meat.

I can't forget my little square
Even though I'm so far away
I can't forget my little fair
Maybe it's still there, still there today
I sometimes hear that little tune
playing in a dream of long ago

And in my brain runs the refrain
That old French refrain I used to know...

"Ah, mon amour
A toi toujours
Dans tes grands yeux
Rien que nous deux"

I'm so sorry felix. I don't know what else to say. I love you.

noise.

every time i try to write a blog i erase it. i'm exhausted.

photo projects blog

ceremoniesofmemory.wordpress.com

sparce.

it's spring break. i sit alone in this house filled with animals. it's quite yet i still am unable to focus on my tasks at hand. maybe i should go to a coffee shop and stare at peoples mouths, become disgusted and leave. those projects i've been ranting about have been completed, more have created themselves.

Is happiness continual, or momentary? I am content. Living through the motions. At no specific time or specific order I acknowledge how content brief happiness has made me.

Sister Crayon video shoot in the forest playas

theres rain drops falling from your face that look like tears.

this week has been calm. a break was def needed. though i'm excited to get going again. i have so many idea and projects i want to start. good to have a flood of ambition once again. my news years resolution is to force my self to be productive in things i want to make happen, not just school. booooooooya.

whatever i touch, starts to melt in my touch, i am to much da doom doom doom

today me and terra had a snow ball fight on our way to class and saw a machine called ditch witch. year without a santa claus is on!

thomas-val you suck.

Maybe i don't accurately portray what i feel i am. i have so many ideas combined with little time and sparse motivation. i rarely create what i know i can prove. i rarely counter a failed attempt by another. instead i press the backspace button on every moment in my life; this creates red grading marks which are invisible to me and magnified to others. The mistake is that i write over the mistakes- making me forget them all together. the end of this paper cant come soon enough.

why is sarah jessica parker so weird looking in movies?

Christmas is coming. The leaves are falling rapidly. Ophelia's birthday is coming up. i ordered a check card with her picture on it last night. i should have ordered one with oph and terra- i'm equally obsessed.

the semester is almost over. its been a rough one. next semester will be less chaotic.

I'm trying to finish up some projects i've been working on but school is priority right now. the break will be nice.

tour key.

fur. lets do something with fur. bear with a sandwich and a candle.

lately.

what i've been working on lately.

october.

my favorite month of the year.
last week sac stormed feverishly and tore through the flesh of clean skin. i lost power for 2 days and formed a relationship with the language of candles. it was an experience that tested my patience with the dark. i came out frustrated and strained. my Ophelia stayed on me for those days as she normally does. a couple days later she came into heat, i sobbed like an infant. she's a woman now, yet i love her the same.
me and terra's 1 year is on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!! her eyes make me ache.

she's europe and i live in her.

life is as expected; continually tripping over my own feet with the best intentions and the less than satisfactory outcome. I stumble, dancing on the blue block's squares. the future is.

ah shit.

another year at 15. thank god 20 is here.
I'm thankful.